Relationships 101:

9 Weeks to Ignite More Kindness, Connection, Playfulness, & Passion

What if “working” on your relationship could be fun, inspiring, playful, and energizing?

Relationships suffer because we stop investing the necessary care and attention that they deserve!  Imagine a garden that you once tended diligently.  And then… life happened.  You (and your partner) got busy, had kids, bought a house, work got more intense, and so on.  You stopped watering, weeding, seeding, and tending.  Your garden became neglected – and you wonder why it isn’t nourishing you anymore!

Well, guess what?  It’s not as hard as you think!  In fact, it can be fun to collaborate and dream with your partner, and it can be inspiring to get back out there to love, nourish, listen, and hold.

It doesn’t have to be as hard as it has felt for months (or even years).

Most couples begin this 9-week course feeling:

  • Disconnected and / or numb
  • Hopeless, thinking that it’ll never get better
  • As though they’ve tried everything they know
  • Angry, resentful, blaming
  • Tired of fighting and feeling unresolved

It doesn’t have to be this way!

I’ve literally been there myself.  Four years ago, I was ready to leave my husband!  I didn’t see a way out or a way through, and I was tired of feeling disconnected, unvalued, and stuck in the impossible pattern.  We were terrible at managing differences and conflict, and anytime we’d fight, I’d feel LESS understood and MORE hopeless.  Many of my clients begin Relationships 101 in this same place of despair.

Three Totally-Not-True Perceptions
about Sex, Love, and Relationships

Perception #1

It’s so hard right now, which must mean we’re not meant to be together and the relationship should end.

This simply isn’t true!  Relationships have “periods” or “chapters,” kind of like levels in a video game.  Partners just need to learn from the challenge and then move onto the next level.

Perception #2

If my partner isn’t as invested as me, then we’re doomed.

Nope!  Relational dynamics shift when any one person starts showing up in less reactive and choiceful ways.  You don’t need a partner who is stoked on Personal Growth and Accountability to make real and lasting change in your relationship!  You’ll be surprised at what’s possible.

Perception #3

Couples Therapy is just paying someone to watch us fight and highlight our conflicts.

Absolutely not.  Getting honest and real in your relationship can be playful and joyful; it’s about learning.  Conflict is only one part of the relationship, and it’s vital to focus on what you’re good at, as well as the challenges!  Get ready for date nights, fun routines, and more creative, inspired, and hot SEX!

It’s because of misconceptions like these that I’ve created my special framework.

Relationships 101 is like no other therapy modality available today.

Step 1 of the Framework

New Paradigm of Relationship: Living from the Team Model 

Instead of existing like adversaries, start to name and live by shared values and agreements.  Remember what drew you together to begin with?  Learn how to handle differences with clear strategies and implementing new tools.

Step 2 of the Framework

New Behavior / New Actions

What does it actually mean to frame your relationship from a win-win paradigm?  Discover basic skills and techniques that support and nourish the team, not just each of you as individuals.  Learn how to appreciate differences instead of feeling threatened by them.

Step 3 of the Framework

Building Routines to Maintain the New Paradigm

Rinse and repeat.  Build on your values, agreements, and routines, and create the structure to live by these shared tenets so that you have clear and agreed upon strategies to implement when future challenges arise.

INTRODUCING: Relationships 101

A 9-week group for couples seeking to grow their relationship

I feel so confident that this group will provide you with helpful tools, transformational strategies, routines, and new paradigms that if you’re not satisfied at the end of 9 weeks, you get a full refund.  See contract for details.

What You Get

  • 25+ Videos and Course Materials to view at your convenience
  • Weekly Group Lecture with Experiential Practice
  • One Private Session with Lily
  • Ongoing accountability and support
  • Access to Course Materials for one full year
  • BONUS: Breathwork Workshop

YOUR INVESTMENT:

  • Pay in full via Venmo / Zelle – $2597
  • Pay in full via OfferingTree – $2897
  • Pay in installments – 3 payments of $957

ENROLL NOW!

To make this couse as individualized and personal as possible, enrollment has been capped at 15 slots.

Winter 2024 Module: Wednesdays, 4:30-6:30 PM PST

For additional information about what will be covered each week, please see below for a full breakdown.

  • 1/24: Intentions / Family Values – Becoming the Same Team
  • (Week off)
  • 2/7: Self Reflection – How learning about yourself supports the relationship
  • 2/14: Valentine’s Day!  Basic Neuroscience – Understanding that wiring changes everything
  • (Week off / school vacation)
  • 2/28: Arousal Regulation / How to Calm Down – How to soothe and be soothed
  • 3/6: Differences – Attachment Styles & Love Languages
  • 3/13: Fighting – never do it again!  How to engage in conflict in a sacred, honoring, and safe way
  • 3/20: Sexy Time
  • 3/27: Routines that Support Your Relational Garden
  • (Week off / school vacation)
  • 4/10: Bringing It All Together – How to maintain what you’ve learned

That’s not all.  Enroll now to receive these EXCLUSIVE BONUSES!

Breathwork Workshop

After weeks of didactic learning about Relationships, Attachment Styles, Nervous System Dysregulation, Arousal Regulation, Love Languages, and more, allow your right brain to take over and integrate the material by exploring a non-ordinary state of consciousness.

It’s weird, wacky, and wonderful!

The Intentional Relationship: 10 Weeks to Ignite Kindness, Compassion, Playfulness, and Passion

The book is in the works!  By enrolling in this course, you’ll be one of the first to receive a copy when it’s published in spring of 2024.

Private Session with Lily

Meet with Lily for one inspiring 75-minute session in which you’ll get real life advice and practice tailored to your unique challenges.  Lily’s style is all about fun, creativity, truth telling, and honesty.  You’ll feel well guided and safe with her, even as she lovingly calls you out on your BS!

The course is broken down into eight actionable modules.

Click on each text box to expand and read more.

1. The Team Model: Stepping ALL In

What does it mean to be on the “Same Team?”  Learn the principles of the Team Model and step in fully as you define and commit to your relationship in a new way.

  • Learn the principles of the Team Model
  • Learn a new Paradigm (The 3 A’s) to help you learn how to handle troublesome behaviors and qualities of your partner’s
  • Commit to STOP damaging one another in toxic ways
2. Self Reflection / Values / Agreements

You can only change YOURSELF, so get to know what it is that you unintentionally bring to the table that negatively impacts your relationship.  Through this module, you and your partners will align your visions of what you are both wanting more of in your marriage.

  • Commit to taking Radical Responsibility in your relationship
  • Create a Values List with your partner
  • Create concrete Agreements to clarify behaviors so you’re both supporting the Values you’ve established
3. Basic Neuroscience

Understand how your Fight / Flight / Freeze response can seriously get in the way of healthy intimacy.

  • Learn how your brain hinders connection
  • Learn how to identify your own dysregulation
  • Learn about your partner’s triggers and what their dysregulation looks like
4. Manage Dysregulation / Arousal

Learn how to consistently and predictably support your nervous system so that you stay regulated, calm, and controlled in your relationship.  Learn how to support your partner to do the same.

  • How to prevent Fight / Flight / Freeze
  • What to do when either party gets dysregulated and enters into the Red Zone
  • Learn about each other’s regulation styles and commit to supporting each other toward co-regulation
5. Attachment Styles / Love Languages

Learn about how you’re wired differently and how that impacts… well, everything!

  • Are you an Avoidant?  Anxious?  Ambivalent?  Secure?
  • Learn how to show love to your partner in a way that they can actually receive it
  • Learn how to work with the differences in your own love languages
6. Never Fight Again - seriously.

Now that you understand how to prevent Fight / Flight / Freeze in yourself (and what to do when either person goes there), create clear rules around conflict and how to engage in healthy, satisfying ways.

  • Learn the 10 Rules of Fair Fighting
  • Commit to the Rules!
  • How to Repair quickly if you do have a blowup
7. Sexy Time

Regular, pleasurable, and satisfying sexual connection is VITAL to a thriving relationship.

  • Learn how to talk about sex
  • Learn how to manage differences in desire and style
  • Learn concrete methods to break out of stuck dynamics from years of experiencing feelings of rejection and frustration
8. Routines

Learn clear and actionable routines that change your lives and maintain all of the hard work you’ve engaged in for the duration of the course.

Meet Lily Eggers

Hey, I’m your host!  I’m Lily Eggers, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Relationship Coach, and Psychedelic Guide.  I help couples build relationships that feel emotionally and sexually connected, full of vitality, that are deeply satisfying – and, most importantly, I help couples to develop the trust that they can handle whatever life throws in their direction as a solid and connected team.

Too many times, I’ve met couples who have been to multiple couplse therapists with minimal results.  That’s because most therapists tend to focus on one area of the relationship: conflict.  Each week, the couple recites the fight that came up, and the therapist attempts to mediate.  That’s all well and good, but what about all of the OTHER aspects of the relationship, like what’s working, what do you love about each other, how do you best receive love?  How do you soothe your partner?  What kind of behaviors trigger each of you?

I work from a holistic, systemic frame that focuses on ALL of the areas of the relationship – not just the conflict.

Here are a few examples of results I’ve helped couples to achieve:

  • A couple that hadn’t had sex in over a decade started exploring sexually again.
  • A divorced couple got back together.
  • Three couples have gotten engaged immediately upon completion of the program.
  • Multiple couples who were on the brink of separation upon starting the course are now full of inspiration, creativity, and hope in their marriage.
  • Countless couples who experienced terrible conflict found ways of communicating that lead with honoring and respecting one another’s differences and strengths.

I totally empathize with the struggle, and I’ve been there myself, so I bring a personal perspective to every aspect of this course.

Relationships 101 is for…

  • Couples ready to change
  • Couples tired of the way things currently are
  • Couples invested in growth
  • Couples committed to self-reflection

It’s NOT for…

  • Couples who don’t want to prioritize their relationship during the course of 9 weeks
  • Couples who want a magic bullet for their problems
  • Couples who only blame each other and don’t take personal responsibility

Frequently Asked Questions

Click on each text box to expand and read more.

Is this really going to help us?

I don’t know for sure – all I know is that I’ve seen countless couples grow their relationship in ways that they never knew were possible.  Although I can’t speak to your specific experience, I can say with confidence that doing nothing will definitely improve nothing in your marriage.  After all, we don’t learn how to “do relationships” in our culture – it’s not taught in school, nor is it modeled very well by our parents or extended families.  So, my program is about HOPE.  It’s about learning the tricks of how to be the best partner for your spouse and teaching them how to be the best partner for you, too.

I’ve dedicated my life to supporting couples in distress because I’ve witnessed firsthand what transformation means for couples.  It looks like more ease and energy to pursue your life purpose, more calm and steadiness, more fun and relaxation for your children.  It’s good for your health and for your sex life.  Simply put, if you put energy and heart into this, you will get results.

Will this be a big financial investment?

Yes.  I won’t beat around the bush!  That said, I guess it depends on what “big financial investment” means for you.  It’s about the same price as a weeklong retreat; it’s about the price of a year of 1:1 couples therapy with me.  And, well, it costs less than divorce.  The question is, what is the cost of NOT working with me?

Continued disconnection that impacts your work and adds tension and stress to your life costs you.  Harvard has been studying happiness and longevity, and they report that HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS are the primary indicator of living a longer, happier life.  I created these programs so that folks can reap the benefits of YEARS of therapy in less than half the time.  So, I recommend that you think about the price as an investment in yourself, in your marriage, and in your kids.

The good news is that I also offer payment plans, so we can make this work for whatever financial situation you’re in!

Do you work with people in person or only on Zoom?

Right now, all of my group sessions are conducted via Zoom.  I have an office in Mill Valley, where I see private clients.  I also offer retreats at people’s homes or at the site of our choosing.

What people are saying about Relationships 101

Lily’s knowledge of human relationships and her compassion makes her a wonderful leader for group couples therapy.

Being a part of a couples group was something new, and it was a bit daunting – however, having the other couples to connect with made for a deep experience.  It was helpful to hear other couples share about their relationship struggles as those became common themes among the group.  I think we all felt validated hearing group shares.  Thank you so much, Lily!

As a pretty private person without any reference point or experience with individual or couples therapy, I really valued Lily’s expertise, the class content, and its format.

Couples group therapy seems like an unpleasant way to spend a few hours a week, but the shared experience and diversity of perspectives turned out to be a positive for me.  Thanks to this class, we have the ability to “supercharge” an already strong relationship with tools and frameworks for gratitude, resentment clearing, and intimacy.  I’d recommend it to all of my friends.

This course was exactly what we needed to lift us out of our funk and propel us in a new direction.

In this short time, we have gone from separated to living back under the same roof in a much more harmonious, joyful, and expansive relationship.  Thank you!

Taking this course with Lily helped my partner and I learn the tools necessary to de-escalate any fight and conflict before it gets too heated or stressful.

We learned so many foundational tools and strategies for communication, for inviting more play and love, and for feeling heard, seen, and understood together.  We now feel armed with so many great resources that will help us grow our relationship, save it from building up resentment, or fighting too often.  It truly has helped us heal in so many ways.  We have healed a lot and know there is still a lot more to go, but feel ready and willing and up for the commitment and challenge.  I know how to truly put our relationship first, how to communicate our dysregulated states, and how to ask for what I need.  Thank you so much, Lily, for this amazing and helpful course!  We will be using these tools for a lifetime I’m sure.

We were skeptical that the group setting would be helpful.

We are private people.  Learning the content together as a couple was helpful and it was validating to hear other couples struggling through similar things.  I was surprised ot find how common our issues were in other relationships and therefore how applicable the content was.  I would highly recommend this course to anyone who would like to grow and improve their relationship.

Lily’s class helped me become a better person and a better partner.

Now I feel empowered to handle the ups and downs of our relationship with a super relevant and time-tested set of tools.  It’s like someone finally handed me the “user’s manual” to our relationship.  While I used to find myself spiraling into tense standoffs that I never fully understood, now I can more calmly and compassionately work through conflict when it arises.  We’ve found ourselves more able to have productive, honest conversations and be more comfortable sharing our needs and boundaries with each other.  After finishing the course we feel equipped with the self-awareness and resiliency we needed to more fully invest in our relationship and take it to the next level.  Thank you, Lily!

This was an incredible experience where I learned more about myself and my partner and how to address our needs.

I have also learned how to better process and approach issues in our relationship in a more meaningful and effective way.  I would highly recommend this program for anyone who is having issues in their relationship or who just wants to improve their relationship.

J and I are in a better relationship than I could have ever imagined.

I’ve been leaning in in ways I didn’t previously think I could, and it feels so easy.  I don’t remember the last time we fought for real, and I feel so supported and loved.  Thanks again for helping us bring awareness to our self reliance!  Now that much of our relational trauma has left, I have a marriage and a partnership of my dreams.  We feel like a “we” in ways my body didn’t know was possible.  It’s so liberating.  Thank you for holding us in the tough times!  We appreciate you!

Don’t wait – register today and start your journey toward a healthy relationship!

I look forward to working with you!