We ALL have to learn how to have good relationships.
Here’s the first thing you need to know about me: I went from total despair in my own marriage to full on bliss. I love my marriage, and I’m proud of it – proud because it wasn’t always this way! There was a day in particular I remember so well because I knew I had really hit rock bottom…
I was walking through the Mission in San Francisco with my 3 month old strapped to my front — her little warm body contacting my aching chest. From a distance, I appeared to be a healthy, happy mother taking her sleeping baby for a walk, but my insides told a different story. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer; they began to spill underneath my sunglasses and onto the top of my daughter’s head. I hated my husband. I hated our marriage, I hated how he talked to me, I hated how misunderstood I felt, I hated how I never experienced a feeling of mutual understanding or movement forwards after our disagreements. What had started as one minor disagreement seemed to have escalated into something too complex and unmanageable to repair. I wanted out. I was tired of feeling like all my attempts at improving our relationship led to nothing, and I tired of feeling so drained and emptied by this relationship…
I was devastated. I had a vision of a wonderful marriage, and it was so painful to admit to myself that I was not living it in real life.
Fast-forward to today, and I can honestly say that I have my dream marriage.
Yes, I went from my night-mare marriage, to my dream marriage…all with the same guy!
So what changed for me?
Well, it started with an epiphany I had one day while my husband and I sat in couple’s therapy. I realized that my husband was in the same kind of pain that I was in, and desperately wanted the same things that I wanted: he wanted to be seen, heard, respected, and loved for who he really is. And while I had always known this intellectually, something changed in me viscerally that day and it led to the development of my rooted relationship model.
When I started to apply this new way of understanding myself and my partner… MAGIC happened.
We shifted from feeling like enemies to feeling like lovers again. Instead of the sound of slamming doors in our house, you would now hear us laughing together. We found ourselves smiling at each other while unpacking the groceries, and our sex life got hotter than it had ever been.
It felt totally miraculous, but in truth it just came down to learning some important practicalities about how romantic relationships REALLY work.
The truth is that having a great relationship is not rocket science, but it does take the right tools.
I can give you key tools and insights so you can stop having the same fights over and over, and start having the passion, love, sex, fun and camaraderie that you’ve been yearning for!
So why should you trust me on this?
Aside from my own personal experience in finding my way back to bliss with my husband, I’ve now helped countless couples like you to find bliss too.
If you want to know the official details:
- I’ve been in practice for 11 years (and absolutely love seeing relationships transform every single week in front of my eyes).
- I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT).
- I received my Masters in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies.
- I hold a Bachelor’s Degree from Brandeis University.
- I’ve Certified in EMDR (a scientifically-backed form of trauma treatment) with Laurel Parnell.
- And since I was 18 years old, I’ve done intensive trainings with some of the greats in the relationship field (there are too many to name here). My work draws heavily on the ground-breaking work of Stan Tatkin and David Mars.
What you can expect with me:
A session that is full of laughter, as well as intense breakthroughs!
You can expect me to listen to you both with total compassion — with no judgement or “siding” with one person or the other.
You can expect me to show you how to end cycles of conflict– and give you practical tools to continue your progress at home.
What you will *not* get from me:
A lot of theoretical jibber-jabber, rehashing the same exhausting problem over and over — or wasting your time!
My work is holistic and body-based.
Which means that I believe that much more than your “intellect” is involved in relationship issues. I’m sure you know how frustrating it can feel to “understand” a problem with your mind, but still have the exact same feelings in your body!
My work honors your body, and helps to get your nervous system on board with the positive changes we’re making.
I incorporate EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, and even love to work with psychedelics to help enhance the experience of intimacy and connection for a couple – though you’re welcome to choose what methods feel like a great fit for you.
My approach to Couple’s Therapy is sex positive!
Because let’s be honest – sex is a huge part of what drew you two together!
It’s meant to be a massively important source of joy, energy and inspiration for you in your life.
We can talk openly and candidly about your sex life and help to get your fires re-lit!
Hey, my clients call me the “Love Guru” for a reason!
The bottom line is that these tools WORK.
Because honestly, having a great relationship isn’t as hard as you think– but it does require learning some tools.
And let’s be honest – none of us were taught these kinds of relationship tools growing up!
I certainly didn’t learn this kind of stuff growing up, I had to seek out my own answers.
Like me, you probably learned how to read and write and do math in school, but no one taught you how to have a lasting, loving, happy relationship with another human being.
So I want you to know: there’s nothing wrong with you for not knowing this stuff already!
But I can promise you that once you DO know these techniques, it’s going to change your life – FOREVER.
It certainly changed mine.
You have no idea how GOOD life can be when you start to bring out the BEST in each other (instead of the worst)!